I never thought I’d see this day come.

As most Melburnians will now know, our former state Minister for Transport and Arts, Lynne Kosky, resigned this morning.

Well, yay!

My hatred has been well documented in VCE SACS, letters to editors and plastered across many different blogging platforms. I suppose this could explain the influx of texts I received today from my family and friends upon hearing the news – they all thought of me, lol.

Though I despised her various stupid remarks, poor management of Melbourne’s public transport and how she gave women in parliament a bad name, you do have the give the gal some respect for sticking around despite all the bullshit that’s been mercilessly flung her way. Clearly, she’s got some balls. Or she’s just more stupid than everyone thought.

However, I never did actually send my angry letter to her, nor did I ever get the chance to meet her in the flesh. I’ve come oh-so-very close twice before, one memorable time in August, 2008:

After over a year of not-so-silent hate, I was finally presented with an opportunity to meet my arch-nemesis in the flesh: Lynne Kosky.

My Dad’s building every so often houses art and there was to be a celebratory ‘do’ in honour of their latest acquisition of some Japanese Art.

Excited enough about receiving an invitiation to the unveiling, I never expected to hear that apparently, my enemy just HAPPENS to be, inaddition to a complete and utter incompetent failure at her job, an expert on Japanese art who had been invited to say a few words at said unveiling.

Oh, how the excitement consumed me – I squealed like a baby pig when my Dad told me.
My mother thought it would be wise, now that we had this information, that perhaps I did not attend the event. She feared it would simply be “too much excitement” for me.

My dad repeatedly asked why I was so excited, clearly not able to comprehend the depths of my hatred for this being.

Alas, I was determined, determined to meet my anti-idol and give her a piece of my mind.

But what was I going to say?? For almost two weeks, I attempted to think of something eloquent, un-moronic and tactful to say to the glorious Ms. Kosky. However, this was a lot easier in theory than it turned out to be in practice.

“You f***ing bitch, you fail”, seemed a little uncalled for at a relatively formal shindig with a bunch of the media and my Dad’s tenants.

I also ruled out writing every perceivable thing I hate about Melbourne’s Public Transport down in a letter and slipping it to her when I shake her hand as I thought I might come on as a little too intense.

I was faced with quite the conundrum.

So, still unable to think of the right thing to say, I decided to briefly attend the opening anyway. I finished uni and headed straight to the building, slightly nervous about meeting someone who has had such a hateful impact on my life.
As I pushed through the revolving doors, I scanned the foyer where a group of men and women in corporate attire had gathered, for a frumpy lady with a bad haircut. She didn’t appear to be there.

I found my parents and inquired as to where Lynne Kosky was.

It was then that I felt my heartbreak.

“Parliament was sitting today, she is unable to make it”

=(

Heartbroken, rejected and depressed, I got in my car and drove home, finally filled with inspiration. Sigh.

Now, I feel a bit mean hating her now that she’s no longer the Public Transport Satan, determined to ruin my pursuit for a cheap and reliable way around Melbourne.

I suppose I could just forgive and forget? Or would it be better to skip proudly along Swanston Street singing ding dong the witch is dead?

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!